In today’s scenario, with an increase in the number of childhood sexual abuse
and rape cases, it has become essential for guardians to talk to their kids
about the differences between appropriate and inappropriate. It is also
important to talk to children about sexual identity, and sexual development.
At a very young age, children get curious and start exploring their bodies by
touching or rubbing their body parts even the genitals. During these years,
they require appropriate guidance such as role, safety, and what privacy and
private parts mean.
Importance to Teaching About Good Touch and Bad Touch
It is imperative to sensitize children about various issues regarding good
touch and bad touch as it would make them emotionally strong. It helps them
handle the not-so-positive events in life in a better way and healthier way.
Understanding the difference between good touch and bad touch will help them
grow and help them understand various events in their life so that they do not
impact their personality and well-being.
Difference between Good Touch & Bad Touch
Good touch and bad touch are two important concepts that everyone should be
aware of. Good touch is any kind of physical contact that makes someone feel
safe and comfortable. This can include hugs, high-fives, and pats on the back.
On the other hand, bad touch is any kind of physical contact that makes
someone feel uncomfortable or scared. This can include hitting, pushing, or
grabbing someone without their permission. It is important for adults to talk
to children about good touch and bad touch so they can recognize when
something is not right and know how to get help if needed.
A way to help children differentiate between good touch could be to explain
with examples what constitutes ‘good touch’ as well as ‘bad touch’. You may
explain “good touch” as a way people show feelings of care and nurturance for
each other (like; gentle hugging). Whereas “Bad touch” is a kind of forced or
unwanted touch (e.g. touching private parts). You can make your child learn
about what is acceptable and what is an unacceptable touch, and also that s/he
must retaliate by saying “NO” and inform you (or the teacher if at school)
about any inappropriate or bad touches.
Good Touch Bad Touch Examples
Good Touch Bad Touch scripts are an important tool to help children learn
about personal safety. They provide a safe space for children to talk about
their feelings and experiences while helping them recognize the difference
between good and bad touches. By using these scripts, parents, teachers, and
caregivers can help children understand how to stay safe in different
situations. The scripts also provide guidance on how to respond if they
experience a bad touch or feel unsafe. With these scripts, children can be
empowered with the knowledge of what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior
so that they can protect themselves from harm.
Using the swimsuit rule can help them understand what parts of their body are
private. All parts of the body that are covered by the swimsuit are private.
Though this is only part of a big conversation as situations like these start
with innocent touches and playing with children’s hair for instance. It s
really helpful to give kids clear rules and teach them using scripts. These
scripts don’t need to be scary and should help them understand the difference
between good and bad touch and what to do if somebody touches you.
Examples of good touches – Hugs and kisses from parents,
bathing and cleaning your private parts by parents, pat on the back from your
teacher.
Examples of bad touch – Someone hitting, pinching, or hurting
the child, someone putting their hands over the child’s private parts, and
someone putting their hands inside the child’s clothes.
What to do when your kid touches another kid?
When your child touches another child, it can be a difficult situation to
navigate. It is important to take the time to talk to both children and ensure
that everyone involved feels safe and respected. The first step is to ask your
child why they touched the other child, as this can help you understand their
motivations and address any underlying issues that may have caused the
behavior. Additionally, it is important to talk with the other child s parents
or guardians so that everyone involved has a clear understanding of what
happened. Finally, it is essential to provide guidance and support for both
children so that they can learn how to interact appropriately in future
situations.
Tips to teach your child good touch and bad touch
Clear guidelines: Ensure that the child knows, it is not okay
for anyone to touch or even have a glance at their private parts. It becomes
easy for children to follow a rule, and they will be able to recognize a bad
touch. For children below 7 years, you can use the swimsuit rule to explain
private parts (parts covered by a swimming suit).
Limit media exposure: Parental control settings are available
on almost every device. Be cautious that children may knowingly or unknowingly
discover adult sexual behaviors through screens. Pornographic content may be
shown to a child by peers or predators in your absence. Ask your child to
report this to you if any such thing occurs.
Using the right words: Make the children learn accurate names
for all body parts including genitals words (like, ‘penis’, ‘vagina’,
‘breasts’, and ‘buttocks’). Made-up names may be indicative of something wrong
and may also make the child curious to find proper names.
Encourage queries: Don’t refuse to answer the questions of a
curious little mind. However, your answer should depend upon the child’s age
and ability to comprehend.
Handling curiosity: Don’t laugh or mock even if you find the
queries to be silly. Even don’t react in an aggressive or disgusted manner. Be
sensitive and don’t make the child feel ashamed for his/her curiosity. Answer
the queries clearly and precisely, using simple words.
Keep it short and simplified: Don’t go into an elaborative
explanation. For instance, a pre-schooler needs not to know the details of
sexual activities or reproduction. All information shared with the children
must be appropriate for their age.
Big ‘NO’ to forced affection: Do not ask your child to give
hugs or kisses to people if they do not wish to do so. Be it grandparents or
other relatives or even the parents, it should be the child’s right to tell
whether they want or don’t want to hug someone.
Keep reinforcing the idea that their body is their own and they shall protect
it. Also reassure your children that you will listen to them, trust them, and
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