Healthy strategies for getting over a break up

Ending a relationship is one of the toughest emotional trials that individuals go through. Whether by mutual agreement or not, the conclusion of a relationship can evoke a range of emotions such as sorrow, rage, melancholy, and even a sense of liberation. Getting over a breakup requires effort beyond just time, it necessitates deliberate strategies to support emotional health and development. This blog delves into evidence-based methods for navigating a breakup, providing real-life examples and advice to help individuals through the healing journey. 

The Emotional Impact of a Breakup 

Research conducted by Fisher et al. (2010) suggests that breakups trigger similar neural pathways in the brain as physical pain. This is the reason why the feeling of heartbreak is frequently intense. In addition, according to Bowlby’s (1982) attachment theory, losing a partner can disrupt the emotional security that has been developed, leading to distress. Research also indicates that individuals with a history of insecure attachment styles may experience symptoms of depression and anxiety following a breakup (Fraley & Shaver, 2000).

Breakups frequently disturb one’s sense of self, as people adapt to living without their significant other. Slotter et al. (2010) discovered that the clarity of one’s self-concept diminishes following the conclusion of a relationship, resulting in individuals experiencing ambiguity regarding their identity and future.

Moving on after a breakup can be tough but it doesn’t have to be all negative! Consider it as progressing in life-similar to transitioning from a character constantly facing defeat in a particular game level to exploring a different, thrilling one. You have the option to tap into your inner Beyonce and groove to “Single Ladies” in your living area, hosting a private dance celebration with sparkly adornments. How about indulging in a marathon of that TV show your ex always disapproved of? At last, you can enjoy those episodes without feeling guilty and possibly find a new fixation.

Healthy Strategies for Recovery

Moving on after a breakup can present a difficult process, however, implementing healthy strategies for the breakup can help in easing the transition. Breakups usually result in a combination of strong emotions, such as sadness, anger, confusion, and relief, and it is important to learn how to handle these emotions for personal development and healing. Approaching healing with patience, self-compassion, and support is important, allowing space for grief while working on rebuilding emotional well-being. Listed below are a few successful methods for manoeuvring through this change:

1. Allow yourself to grieve: Grieving the end of a romantic partnership is important for the healing process. Based on Kubler-ross and Kessler (2005), individuals commonly go through five phases of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Individuals may experience fluctuations between different emotions as these stages are not in a straight line. One day, an individual might feel anger, and they might experience profound sorrow while following. Not judging these emotions can alleviate emotional stress. Rotella et al. (2014) discovered that expressing emotions is more helpful than suppressing them when dealing with negative experiences. Journaling about emotions can help with emotional healing as well.

2. Cut off Contact (for now): Keeping a distance from a former partner allows people to establish emotional distance and avoids reopening past emotional experiences. A study conducted by Sbarra and Emery (2005) indicates that maintaining communication with a former partner leads to lasting feelings of emotional pain. A small tip is to stop following or muting your ex on social media to prevent constant reminders, which may impede the process of healing. In a study, participants who stopped talking to their exes experienced improved emotions half a year after the breakup, according to Brumbaugh & Fraley (2015).

3. Get in touch with loved ones and reconnect with friends: Social support is essential for individuals to recover after a breakup. Research indicates that having conversations with close friends or family members helps to alleviate feelings of loneliness and improve emotional health (Cohen & Wills, 1985). A good social support system helps individuals cope with emotional distress better than those without one (Uchino,2006). 

4. Engage in physical activity: Physical activity has been shown to improve mood and lessen stress. Exercise causes the release of endorphins, which are natural mood enhancers. Blumenthal et al. (2007) suggest that doing aerobic exercises regularly can be as helpful as taking antidepressants for reducing mild to moderate depression. Engaging in activities like jogging, yoga, or swimming can act as a positive method for dealing with emotional stress. 

5. Engage in self-kindness and compassion: Showing kindness to oneself in challenging times can speed up the process of healing. Self-compassion means recognizing pain without criticism and showing oneself the same kindness given to a friend (Nef, 2011).

6. Steer clear of jumping into new relationships right after ending a new one: Getting into a new relationship right after a breakup may impede the process of emotional recovery. Based on Brumbaugh and Fraley (2015), rebound relationships are typically just a brief diversion instead of a genuine bond, which can result in increased emotional distress. 

7. Participating in activities that bring happiness and satisfaction can assist in reconstructing self-identity: Exploring past interests or acquiring new talents can offer a feeling of direction and achievement (Fredrickson, 2001). 

8. Seek assistance from a professional: Therapy is a valuable resource for people experiencing severe emotional distress. CBT is especially helpful in dealing with negative thought patterns related to breakups, according to Beck (2011).

The Healing Process: A Case Study

Maya’s heart was shattered and she felt lost after her five-year relationship suddenly came to an end. During the initial weeks, she experienced trouble falling asleep and was consumed by feelings of sadness. Nevertheless, she slowly introduced minor yet significant alterations. 

She contacted her friends for support and began writing a journal to express her thoughts. She started running, which made her feel proud and boosted her mood. She stopped communicating with her former partner, giving herself a chance to recover emotionally. Attending therapy, sessions assisted her in changing negative thought patterns and directing her attention towards personal development. Maya expressed feeling emotionally stable, with her rediscovered identity outside the relationship after 6 months. 

Conclusion

Healing from a breakup requires patience, commitment, and successful coping strategies. Coping with a breakup includes grieving the separation, cutting off communication for a while, seeking help from friends and family, and participating in self-care activities. These coping techniques can assist people in improving their ability to control their emotional reactions to the situation. Getting help from a professional can further aid in the process of overcoming emotional hurdles following a breakup. Although separations are unquestionably difficult, they can also present a chance for individuals to develop personally and learn more about themselves.