Know About Parenting And Its Types

A recent study wherein 14.5 million pairs of twins from almost every twin study conducted in the past 50 years has concluded that a person’s behavior is influenced roughly the same by genetics and environment (MedicalDaily, 2015). Parenting is an integral part of a child’s environment. Researchers have been trying to study different parenting styles and their effects on children for many years now. The parenting styles that are known today are based on the initial work of Diana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist at the University of Berkeley in the 1960s. She proposed that there is a close relationship between a parenting style and the child’s behavior.

She initially identified 3 types of parenting styles, namely:

1. Authoritative parenting

2. Authoritarian parenting

3. Permissive parenting

Later in 1983, Maccoby and Martin expanded the permissive parenting style into two different types, namely:

1.      Permissive parenting

2.      Uninvolved parenting

Parenting styles are categorized based on two dimensions of parenting behavior (ParentingforBrain.com, 2020):

· Demandingness: It basically is the extent to which parents try to control their children’s behavior or are demanding of their behavior.

· Responsiveness: It refers to how accepting or sensitive a parent is to their child’s emotional and developmental needs.

Authoritative Parenting

It is a parenting style characterized by high demandingness and high responsiveness. They have high expectations and are demanding but at the same time are responsive and warm. They do set limits and enforce boundaries by having open discussions and providing reasons for their actions. This reasoning does not let the child feel overburdened by the rules and regulations but enables them to have a sense of awareness and learn about values and morals. Some characteristic traits are:

·They listen to their child’s point of view as well.

·They allow autonomy and encourage independence i.e. do not limit their child’s growth by not letting them choose at all. They set boundaries that are not rigid and are negotiable depending on the situation.

·They give reasons for their actions and have a discussion on the same with their child instead of expecting them to blindly follow whatever they said.

·Focus on positive discipline i.e. teaching good behavior using kind and firm techniques (ParentingforBrain.com, 2020)instead of using harsh punishments. This prevents the child from being aggressive and promotes honesty in them.

·They do not demand respect but rather earn it.

Studies have revealed that pre-schoolers raised by authoritative parents ^[4]:

· Are happier and more content.

·Grow out to be more independent.

·Are more confident and develop good social skills.

·They also tend to have a good Emotional Quotient and self-control.

·Are not afraid of exploring new things/environments.

Children who grow up in such an environment:

·Have a good self-esteem

·Are good in academics as well

·Have better mental health i.e. less depression, anxiety, or suicidal attempts(ParentingforBrain.com, 2020).

·Exhibit less violent tendencies.

·Are more active socially.

Authoritarian Parenting

This parenting style is characterized by high demandingness and low responsiveness. Such parents require their children to meet high standards but are unresponsive or less responsive to their child’s emotional needs. They set strict rules and boundaries and expect their child to follow them without any ifs or buts. For them, it is “either my way or the highway”. Key characteristics of such parents are:

·They are very demanding. They exert control over their children and their activities and expect them to follow the rules. They tend to not explain any of their actions. They tend to use punishments if either the explicit or implicit rules are not followed.

·They very rarely show their warmth towards their children and are seen using harsh and unkind words when they are upset with them. They are most likely to yell at their children in such situations. Some can also withhold love when their children are not meeting their expectations(ParentingforBrain.com, 2020).

·They are controlling by nature. They believe that their kids should be obedient and follow whatever they say blindly. They require their children to be submissive in the parent-child relationship. They believe that their children don’t have the right or ability to make their own decisions and hence their interference is a necessity.

·The communication in this kind of parent-child relationship is one-way only. The parents rarely involve the children in decision-making and don’t allow any sort of feedback on the decisions implemented.

·Such parents are less Agreeable(a Big5 personality trait). Agreeable people are cooperative, warn, and considerate.

Children who grow in this environment:

·Are very obedient in front of their parents. They tend to abide by all the rules set by their parents.

·Tend to be less independent

·Display aggressive behavior when under pressure and do not have their parents around.

·Some of the children become overly shy and have lower self-esteem.

·Have poor social skills.

·Have a higher risk of succumbing to drinking problems, or substance abuse. They are more likely to suffer from depression, and anxiety and have more suicidal thoughts.

·Such children tend to be more dishonest as not telling the truth is the only way out from punishment.

Such parents often believe that either they have complete control over their kids or their kids would rule the house which is unacceptable to them.

Permissive Parenting

This parenting style is characterized by high responsiveness and high demandingness. They are very responsive to their kid’s needs but are very inconsistent in setting boundaries. They set very few rules and generally don’t enforce them. Characteristics traits are:

·They are responsive to their children.

·They tend to give in to their kids’ demands. For example, they can be seen using games or chocolates as bribes to get their children to behave.

·Permissive parents treat their kids like their friends. They want their children to look at them as friends and not as someone with great authority over them.

· Such parents dislike control over their children and are very lenient with them.

· They generally let their children make their decisions on their own without guidance.

Children who grow up in this environment can have the following traits:

· As permissive parents do not regulate their child’s behavior, they can turn out to be more impulsive and aggressive. The children are generally less aware of the norms of acceptable behavior.

·Children tend to have less self-discipline due to overly lax parents who do not set any goals for their children. This results in the children’s lower academic achievements.

· As these children don’t have good impulse control, they are more likely to indulge in substance abuse and alcohol-related issues.

·Such children also have a problem regulating their emotions.

·As permissive parents do not regulate their children’s eating habits, these children can turn out to be obese.

·As their parents do not set any rules, such children have a hard time following other societal rules and regulations.

Uninvolved Parenting

This parenting style is characterized by low demandingness and low responsiveness. Neither do such parents set any boundaries nor are they involved in their lives or pay heed to their needs.

Characteristic traits of uninvolved parents are:

·They provide little or no supervision

· Act distant from their own kids

·Have very limited interactions with their children.

·Showcase very little warmth or love towards their children

·Set almost no expectations of behavior or future goals

Children who have uninvolved parents tend to experience the following effects:

·They are mostly stressed due to the lack of support from their families.

· Are generally emotionally withdrawn

·Have a high risk of being involved in substance abuse

·Fear of being dependent on others

·Perform poorly in nearly every area of life

Although it has been found that Authoritative parenting provides the best outcome in children, yet, no parent can fit into just one style of parenting. Every child is unique and so is every parent. There is no one size fits. Parents need to be flexible with their approach depending upon their child’s behavior, the situation, the child’s age, and many more.