“When we focus on others, our world expands”
-Daniel Goleman
What is Social Quotient (SQ)?
Social Quotient also referred to as Social Intelligence
Quotient is the ability of a person to manage people and to know how to
present oneself, what to say, and what not to say in a social situation.We
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best Online Counselling in India. It helps one to extend boundaries and is acquired during their lifetime
through various experiences of success and failure in social settings.
It is basically the capacity of an individual to know/understand oneself and
read their surroundings and act/react accordingly. It is also often termed
“street smartness”.
People with high SQ usually exhibit the following traits:
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Such people are known to possess "social expressiveness skills” which
basically means they can interact/communicate with anyone and everyone and
that too in an appropriate manner.
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They supposedly are excellent listeners. They listen to others attentively.
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They pay attention, analyze situations and understand others’ behavior and
then react as required.
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They can easily adapt to various social situations and know how to play the
various social roles in the so-called “game”.
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Their observatory skills enable them to know people better and understand
what grabs their attention further enabling them to act accordingly.
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They are aware and take care of what impression they exude on others. They
supposedly are very particular about it too. They try to create a balance
between the “image” they portray and their true self. It is hard to portray
oneself as something and at the same time remain “authentic”.
Social Quotient is all about what the future beholds for us and how we enhance
ourselves to survive socially. It is to comprehend the situation and figure
out the best way to achieve a favorable outcome.
Social intelligence has a biological underpinning to it as well. A lot of what
a person exhibits is dependent on the social circuitry in the brain which
consists of mainly three kinds of cells i.e. mirror neurons,
spindle cells, and oscillators.
Mirror neurons enable a person to mimic or mirror what the
other being does. These neurons play a vital role in organizations as their
presence prompts the followers to mirror their leader’s feelings and deeds.
Recently in a study conducted by Marie Dasborough, it was observed that if a
set of employees are given positive feedback but with a lot of negativity and
another set is given negative feedback but with positive signals, the former
was reported to be feeling worse than the latter. This also shows that the
delivery of the feedback was more important than the feedback itself.
This also showcases that the feelings of the reviewer were reciprocated or
mirrored by the reviewer which is a result of the activation of the mirror
cells.
Another important set is the spindle cells. Intuition or the
“gut feeling” is a result of these cells. These are triggered when the best of
the choices are to be made i.e., we need to choose as our gut guides us.
Listening to their intuition is a must for leaders provided it is attuned to
the mood of others.
Oscillators showcase this attuning physically. It regulates
how the bodies of the involved ones move together. The presence of these
definitely strengthens the social impact of a person and there is no clear-cut
method as well to strengthen these cells. There is also a risk that a
self-conscious attempt to display such social intelligence can backfire.
The only way to develop this circuitry is by taking an effort and working hard
to do so. There has to be a behavioral change for the same to happen. Social
skills are definitely a requirement for leaders and if unfortunately, not
proactive biologically, has to be developed through hard work and behavioral
changes.
How to identify people with high Social Quotient (SQ)?
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One such method could be reviewing from peers, and higher-ups and working on
the same. Seeking external help, in this case, could prove to be beneficial
as it provides a direction to work on.
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Listen: People with high social quotient are good listeners too. They don’t
just listen to respond but truly pay attention to what the other person is
saying. Try and develop a habit of listening to others.
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Develop good conversational skills as in order to be socially impactful you
need to interact with people. To carry on any conversation, one must have
good conversational skills.
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Pay close attention to who or what is around you. Socially intelligent
people are very observant of their surroundings. They are attentive to the
subtle social cues from people around them.
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Work on your emotional intelligence: Emotional intelligence is about having
control of your emotions and how you empathize with others. When you know
how to recognize and regulate emotion in your own self, you can learn how to
do that in others as well. Working on EQ(emotional quotient) can help you
recognize and control negative feelings such as frustration and
anger
, which is very important in a social setting.
It’s not like you are not going to mess up in your life but improving upon
these skills will definitely help you lead an easier life wherein you won’t
have a problem putting forth your opinion or interacting with new people.
“Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When
we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and
preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands.
Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and
we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.”-Daniel
Goleman